embrace sappiness:)

"love must surely reside in the gap between desire and fulfillment, in the lack, not the contentment. Love was the ache, the anticipation, the retreat, everything around it but the emotion itself" - Desai, The Inheritance of Loss

how many times is this going to happen again?
you wake me up, tell me to get out of bed to call you just to make sure i can hear your stories of the lack of time and weariness clearly, and then impatiently insist you have to go within the range of 2-15 minutes.

how many times is this going to happen again?
i rely on your useless, random msges, phone calls that come once or twice a day or less. or a mere response. don't make promises you cant keep. and you get angry that we talk but i dont tell you everything. fuck you. what do you think i am?

how many times is this going to happen again?
for your sake and complaints we urge you to take it easy and you say yes you will work on it. and then the next day i get screamed at for not understanding you needed the money.

how many times is this going to happen again?
i am just sick and tired of caring. i will never ever understand how you handle things when i just see so many other options. logical ones. not your offensive and dismissive comments about me being "too emotional". maybe i should get going.

you dont have to be intentionally mean to be an asshole/jerk. you just have to not care enough. but then again. who can blame you for not caring enough right?

it's just bloody old me.