"It would be Lewis calling at three in the morning to say, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i never meant to hurt you." As if that made everything all right. As if not meaning to hurt someone must lessen the depth of the pain you had so unwittingly inflicted upon them. As if hurting someone when you hadn't meant to was not a criminal act after all. As if the aftermath ofpain was merely an incidental byproduct, like the unidentifiable remains they stuff wieners in." - Diane Schoemperlen, Language of love. what a cheesy name eh...doesnt do justice to the content/quality of the book. it echoes alot of my fleeting daily private thoughts..

arrrr... dont know why i am so tired this todayyy... fell asleep just a while ago after dropping hammy off and i can hardly bear to move around now... *lazy assed* lol i didnt even want to go to the gym with my brotherr... my triceps hurt.. thought they looked very flabby yesterday and went crazy with the tricep machine. hey its true eh...exercise ehances boobs~ sigh, that sucks fer moi... coz i think muscular backs are sexy. they say short skirts are for short people.. how come i think i look unbelivable unattractive and fat-legged in them? i can always trust my legs and boobs to kill my mood everytime i see em in outfits i happily put together. good ol' trusty body parts.

omg i hate the way my room looks now. ARGGGGG!! it really needs a makeover. i esp hate that collage of pictures hanging above my bed. I NEED NEW PICTURES! mmm MUST TAKE MORE.

said i wanted to read at least 80 books this summer (20 books a mth).. lol. but i probably only read 5(give and take 1) so far and a stack of books of magic comics. not goood. gotta pick things up a little... hopefully will read like 50.. and get started on my essay too.its due in 6 days! *shrieks* and i still dont know if i want to do JOhn Donne or shakespeare or wyatt!! nooOOOOO!!

mmm.. im tired and my rooms messy and i need a new job. *snore* (#*$_)$(# gotta call golf town.ARGH. *slits throat*

mmm gotta get rid of my textbooks... and i would already get about 60 bucks from the school bookstore for some of them.. and the novels.. shall go downtown and hunt for used bookstores to sell them to for a couple dollars each while walking around. fun fun.

i always fantasized(and still do occasionally) about the romantic notion of being a stunningly beautiful and mysterious young artist (not artitse.. whatever u spell it).. usually up in my studio apartment working, living on a lover's caress and kisses and graham crackers soaked in canned soup whenever i remember to eat.. sipping wine and laughing at parties, exhibitions, seminars swarming with fellow passionate art victims, in that only little black expensive dress i own with exotic earrings i found in some dingy store at the corner of the street, before returning home to paint maps of the bluish veins running along his hands,hips, feet, the expanse of his sweet eyes. but then again.. no one would tell you about the poetry(or lack of)of the leaking roof, unpaid bills piling up on that ratty coffee table you found at some junk yard sale, the cost of soap strands of your dark hair would find itself tangled in, your lover's tantrums, the broken furnace.. and the cold nights your finished work would sit in a dark room, untouched. unappreciated. unsold.

and here i am, spinning an old fantasy from my imagination onto a keyboard in the middle of a warm afternoon after staring at MY unused little black dress hanging at the back of the closet i just tidied... im a crappy university stupid with no artistic talents whatsoever, unwilling to admit that i will never want to lose the luxury of the level of comfort my daddy has given me... with an unattractive allergy to any form of alcohol, however refined. not to mention my lack of that "stunning beauty" and "mystery"(lol).. PLUS, im picky about some minion job at some golf store and i want 5 nice cars in the future.

haha, shut up pearle.

i hate it when you leave like that -
with everything tumbling to a hush while the
tremor in my body does not cease.
the world harsh on my raw nerves,
exfoiated skin.
this raw heart silently sinks into scorched sand.
until you come back.

-purl-

mmm i want to go to starbucks or timothy's but there are peoples on sunday! :( darns..

Everytime I Close My Eyes - babyface.. *tears* its so dreamy! okok im the type of girl who is slightly ashamed of her music taste.. and im aware of how mushy and disgusting it may be.. BUT ITS MY BLOG AND IM GONNA USE STEREOTYPES AS MY ARGUMENT! haaa

Girl it's been a long, long time comin', yes it has
But I, I know that it's been worth the wait
It feels like springtime in winter
It feels like Christmas in June
It feels like heaven has opened up it's gates for me and you

Every time I close my eyes
I thank the lord that I've got you
And you've got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself cuz I don't believe it's true
That someone like you loves me too

Girl I think that you're truly somethin', yes you are
And you're, you're every bit of a dream come true, yes you are
With you baby, it never rains
And it's no wonder
The sun always shines when I'm near you
It's just blessing that I have found somebody like you

To think of all the nights I've cried myself to sleep
You really oughta know how much you mean to me
It's only right, it's only right
In my life that you be in my life right here with me

NOTE: this is entirely satryical and false and dedicated to my old man #2, Ronald Wong.
the singaporean-to-get-a-girl guide for desperate guys:
1. work your ass off and own a BMW 745 and pick your girl up everyday. unless you want to be a xp-victim, please act like the taxi is your friend instead of driving ur truck. its still better than the bus. lols.
2. dance and wriggle on stage like 5566 lord of the gaylords.
3. starve yourself and be sure to look like stickmen - gives you a higher chance of getting into the "pretty boy" catagory
4. if you are naturally skinny, you're in luck! lols
5. have plastic surgery and somehow fix it to look like members of 5566 or jay chou *shudders*
6. pretend your dad owns some prestigious software company and dole out on the drinks and presents when shes around. by the time she finds out the truth she would be too smitten to care if you are a pauper, which of course by then you are, after all the presents and expensive resturant meals
7. DO NOT even TRY to convince yourself you will ever find someone who is soft, white, and sews, cooks and pampers you like a king. Live with the newage girls, mister. YOU do the cooking.
8. try not to be patronizing when she insists on paying.. even though you do pay in the end. :)
9. pretend you went to a western country to study or something. she will fall on her knees and beg u take her home. even better if you already are an expat - bonus equipment gets you everywhere
10. in a nutshell, because of endless complaints of how supperficial and materialistic singaporean girls are, i have made this brief outline for those who have yet to snap a singaporean girl up.

THEN, as a comparism and a continuation of this joke, i will also provide a biased canadianized-singaporean guide to girls:
1. be funny
2. be intelligent
3. be loveable
4. drive whatever you want.. if its a scooter, get her a hot pink helmet with her name on it
5. have curly hair
6. tell her shes gorgeous and mean it even when shes wearing purple. lol.. and pretend she isnt fat.
7. split the bill, she would pay with all the inheritence she has.
8. be neat and clean
9. take off them socks at certain places.. haha
10. just be nice and kind.

lols!! promotion of one self. hahaaa.. its all jokes ok!!

omg i better get my jiggly arse to the gym today!! but shall bring dawne to chapters first, since she wnats to go there.. and get me my bodyshop lipbalm. dodoodoos... shall do some studyingtonight while hammys buusyy *blows smoochies*

Take Me Away - lifehouse

this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burned me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let me stay here alone
this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place

I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
take me away