found my H.I.class of 2002 vcd lying amidst the dust with my old cds. well, i couldnt resist watching it.

another one of those days i wished i could read chinese properly.

*tears* its funny how i spent 3 years with most of those guys, 4 years in that school.. and here i am after 2 years++ sitting in a country 32hrs by plane away taking in the crazy changes. of course, i didnt just watch 4A's little clip... it was enough to make my heart ache and wish those days never ended. the O'levels didnt bother me.. i wouldnt mind going back even if i had to go through all the sweaty afternoons and stress and bad fashion all over again. i watched 4C's too.. all this while remembering how miss neo died while i watch her exchange vows with her at that time brand new husband in the video. i never thought she was that pretty, but really, cliches aside, in her wedding dress, she glowed.

just seeing the girls, the lanky guys, beng, even the people from other classes in the vcd made me realise how much happened AMONGST us all. interweaving threads, undertows of fate. yea, i believe.

we were like little intangible blots of colour of present selves, glittering, pulsing, but inevitably shedded, left behind.

so many of them are either alread enlisted or waiting to go into university after 2 years of JC. sure, i learn in school(now) that society's catagorization is ACTUAlly insignificant to the automotic self, and we are merely brainwashed to see it as truly important. but heck, leaving a school may be merely an official date, surely we all still feel something.

talked to daryl the other day.. who said perhaps we jus didnt change that much after all. yes we do move from phase to phase, but surely there is a constancy within ourselves. perhaps.

no way i wil ever wear shorts/pants that are higher than my hipbones anytime soon, nor will my hair be that straight again unless i rebond it again.. my shoulders are not as narrow(acording to uncle david, yes well its not my fault i enjoy swimming and working out... :P) i have a waist and hips(no yay)now.. and im probably 80000% fatter. (gotta start that diet soon... or i wont fit into any of the chairs when i go backto singapore.. lols) yeah, i discovered many of my pet peeves, my interests, little itsy things about myself and the people around me that make so much difference. well. unbelievable. i wonder how older people feel.

they probably dont notice it, but singaporeans (forgive me for the stereotype again, but mostly chinese speaking ones)tend to pull out stereotypes and clichely enact it, finding it hilarious. i used to tihnk it was just embarassing and found the chinese channels unbearable to watch.. but now, meh, its all good.

there used to be so many things i feel ashamed of about my culture, the sloppiness, the lack of refinement in many areas, the disgusting stereotypes, u know, the usual things people like me feel. it just frustrated me further aware that i was part of it. yea, that purl syndrome still acts up once in a while.

.. BUT hey, singapore beats dubai in everyway possible ;). hahhaa