until u have your next perk, life is but a cycle of misery. for example, i come home feelin poopish, thought chocolate might give a small slight sugar rush to remove the misery.. but i ended up more miserbale than before.. swearing i take up the whole counch.. then i watched chicago, hoping the singing and crazy dancing will be nice.. but no i just get depressed sitting there for 2 hours with nothing else to do.. so yay its over i run upstairs to see if i get msges.. but none.. sadder-ness again.. and then ok.. i dont have internet= frustrated.. so i go ot dawne's computor.. and im frustrated again.. coz no one of my interest is online and its just sad i need internet to be entertained. and now ranting on and on is making me just as miserable.. so.. bedtime u say? No.. sleeping so early is pathetic.. and tomorrrow im gonna be bored agian.. dammit really. why do i always have to be so sad?? as in sad case. im not even blaming anything.. im just one miserable frustrated loserish fat awkward looking loner with a bloody nose.

sometimes i prefer nights to never end.. i have a reason to be in bed and never wake up. tomorrow im gonna buy that thing that covers the eyes during sleep.. that way i may never wake up. yay.

good lord, why does patrick have to come online during my few brief visits to the world wide web?

does advil or telenol make u sleep?? i might need some tomorrow. i hate mornings now. wow i hated this morning. even better i keep sleeping i dont eat. fat kids shold really keep thier paws off the chocolate jars and their pig trotters on the treadmill.

man, i feel like *$#_(%*)$@!. i want to beat the crap out of something with a baseball bat. i dreamed of that for so long! comon' a car will be nice too.. i always visualised and imagined the rush of wind, the folding in of the windscreen, the shards of class, the ache in my shoulder and my right bicep, the crisp smell of rain after a sultry afternoon. oh wow, the adrenaline. thats right son, im repressed.

funny how i mgiht even be too weak to really smash that lovely windscreen in the way i fantasize i would when i actually do get the chance. and the chances of that is.. hmmm.. ZERO!!?? saw the pun? lol puns are funny simply because they arent.

bah humbug, i hate you world