mm just thought of my dad's friends crazy love story. he knew his wife since primary school... IN malaysia!! and on weekends she brings food to him in singapore when he was in ngee ann polytechnic.. WOAH.. like those old movies. bah, this only happens so much with chinese people. (im stereotyping here) if they are not assholes, even guys this generation make u feel so "secure" so fast. and they constantly treat u like goddamm treasure.. tthose i have encountered anyways.. many pros and cons. the unconditional devotion.. and they were still happily married too!!(until he passed away :( ) thats AMAZING i tell you... most of the world.. including myself.. can only tell ourselves it doesnt happen in real life.. and keep up with our daily struggles and internal battles.

timothy findley just got himself a new fan

"I don't have burn marks for nothing, my dear. I don't have these scars by chance. I'm covered with your fingerprints. Covered from head to toe and back again on the other side"

"Col sat back. he had peeled away Minna's lashes and - in the men's room had wiped the streaks of mascara from his cheeks. He looked - but not completely - normal. His beauty, though male, was not masculine. his eyes were too far apart, too large for that - and his lips too sensual.
Masuline had straight, hard lines. Col's were curvaceous, wet and inviting. Masculine meant iron thin lips; eyes that said no; the fingers that were always curled decisively rejecting any contact with male persons - and flesh that smelled locker room and sweat. Don't i won't let you - and sure as hell, i won't let me was the message.
Undo, women said. Uncurl. Unfurl. Lie back. Expose yousrelf. You - its you i want, not who you think you are. I want you - the person whole and naked on the bed. " - Come as you are, Dust to dust.

sigh, these people have a way with words. it probably does nothing for anyone unless u have read the entire book... mmmm.. well at least i had a good book as the highlight of my day.. stupid library charged 20cents for one page black and white photocopy.. thats evil. or i could have copied many more pages.. hmm.

i dont understand why i let words become to important to me. but i cant talk or express myself aurally to save my soul.

sigh im so *bleeeeeeeeeeeeep*-ing bored

yay aunty dorothy and helen said i lost even more weight since popiah night. bumped into them at the clinic.. maybe i really should start dieting.. and going to the bloody gym more than twice(TWICE?! WHO GOES ONLY TWICE?) a week to speed it up. they are probably just saying it to make me happy. i dont feel any thinner anyways(and i feel so bloated!).. plus i havent done anything... im just as thick as ever.

sigh, im tired of feeling ugly :.( the . is the poo on my face.

and my bf calls me "poo"!! *tears* haha.. i go with "goo" :.P

wow just wrote like 6 pages in my diary.. mmmm

*dies*