through this world i stumbled -



you're mean, im mean, im nice, you're sweet, im cold, you're hot, we laugh, we share, we understand, we misunderstand, we soar, we fall, i goof up, we crash. how long has it been? almost an entire year.. or more? it feels like forever - in a good way :) distance between us had its first major crack eversince that sunchips afternoon in the baking sun when we talked for almost 2 hours. a few weeks later the hairline cracks gave in and i realised how much you really meant and mean to me.

still, so much time after all the coy afternoons, we remain very often paranoid and misunderstood, perhaps refusing to take things for granted or did omitted words took its toll?

- but nevertheless amidst everything else, we, yes WE remain addicted(your word) to each other. absence makes the heart fonder? i think not baby, my day bad or good isn't complete without you. they say getting overly comfortable with time kills many things.. for me though, it gets better. i feel more like myself, i guess in a selfish sense this amazing bond of ours have done sooooo more for me than give me a gorgeous and hilarious bf who also assures me i shouldnt wear makeup and im not fat ;) - ANd, i want you more than ever.

PLus, you did get a free cookie for me and shared the double double you(and your fellow comrade nima) won from going through public garbage around york for hours this evening, leaving me in charge with your bags and laptop since im constantly hungry anyways. awws, isnt that sweet? lol.

what else can i say? that no one made me laugh this much, this freely? that i never told someone i loved him without flinching or any prompt and mean it? that the rare rare times i get to steal warmth off you are impossibly beautiful? that im strongly convinced EVEn better things may come? that i never had anyone who loves me so wholly? even for my disgusting fiction-book devouring habits, girlish moodiness, ditziness, my repulsive obsessive complusive capitalistic rants, my lack of self esteem, my shyness, my attempts to engage you in "intellectual" conversations that ultimately mean nothing in the bigger picture, my inability to remember THAT THING ON THE BACK is called a spoiler, my "bad" music and car taste... my imperfections held in by perfect and warm hands of a perfect person( well.. except for the times you kick me out of the car, purposely humiliate me in public, punch me, and make everyone think u have sexual relations with all your guy friends ;) )...

...with those usually curled pinkies :).

i always wanted to write a book, which would give me the excuse to describe the flat, broad white finger tips on your long curled fingers, quickening heartrates, the tremor of a surface when your voice echoes from the throat, sunlight scorching my forearms as 18degree cold air blasts from the vents as i watch your eyelashes flutter with your eyes on the road. i guess the blog will suffice for now.

dragons or not, i know the start wasn't a fairytale. what can i do but hope to understand one day that ideals were never really met? forget 6 times a month, we are already doing better than that! hahaaa...

"Stay in your lovely paris but think of me with every wild strawberry you eat, every scrumptious melon, and certainly every bite of foie gras. " - Shipwreck, Lousi Begley (yes, its the books i took out today. i am done with the girl with a pearl earring and im currently on page 24 of this one.... *nerdy toothy smile* :) )

with every calorie i injest, sleep off, read off, work off and accumulate, i think of you.



- till i found you.



eww im so ushy mushy ewww :P