humourless smiles and rainy eyes you choke on your forced laughter. did you know i live to hear your voice on the line once again?
the sun's out again. im sorry i have to go.
give me your hand this last time. let my lips graze yours. i thought i could see your face in my artifically glossy nails.

i made my bed this morning.
sleeping to dream about you, but im so tired.

you tell me that you expected this. that i should make the right choices. that i will always be wrong and foolish.
that red disappointment fleetingly visits my eyes again.
how can i explain that i never wanted this?

maybe years will make us grow. perhaps your heart will heal and be as good as new. perhaps i will wake up one day.
when the sunshine pours in.