woops too many typing errors in that LONNNNGG previous blog..

hmms.. i guess i feel a tad better.. im just not looking forward to fridays and the weekend. tried to look more energetic today.. with the effort of wearing fuzzy shoes and happy clothing.. and i did put in extra effort to stop crying. it takes up alot of my energy.. but yeah.. i still have "wild horses" on.. aparently my eyes still are poofy and my skin crappy but.. oh wells.. the down times.

last night was funnnnnyyyy.. no one flirted with me in that circumstance before.. haha.. but yeah it lasted a bit too long (a whoollllee hour and 3/4 of the bus ride~) .. and he got too touchy.. phewies hammy was there :)

today's tutorial lasted half an hour~ tats retarded.. and we only talked about birds and apes.. OK.. *rolleyes*

mm there is no reason for me to transfer to U of T no more.. mmm sigh.

im bored.. why did i come home so early and dawne isnt even at home.. ARGh being home sucks these days.. *sighs*

my mom came into my room to talk to me about boys again last night.. how does she know these things about me?? its not like i ever tell her anytihng and somehow she senses when things happen.. hmms..well she gave me the usual dont settle for anyone who isnt worth it.. and how im stil young and i have plenty of time... and i should let people meet other people and i should meet people too before making serious decisions.. bois do come and go.. maybe one or two will stay and be even more.. but just keep my heart open and all that.. and never let myself get hurt. then she starts boasting about how many bfs she had before my daddy and that she understands coz shes been through all that crap and her mommy never told her jack. mmmm.. yes mommy, i know.

you know how u get to the age where you realize how your upbringing influenced the way u are? well im seeing more and more of it as much as im trying to ignore it.. well.. i dont really have any blame to put on my parents.. after all they spoilt me rotten for a decent 15 years at least.. i grew up tihnking my daddy is a king and im a princess.. and my apartment was the center of the universe. hahaa.. the day i found out it wasnt true.. i chose my cinderella dress and dragged my maid out to walk me around the block.. simply because there is so much more beyond the roads that never seemed to end to my little eyes. then my parents came home with a set of toy bowling pins for me. :)

i wonder where im going now. what am i gonna be? so far i have transformed from a princess to a girl swallowed and trampled upon by the indifferent crowd.. what happens next?

i need you still