the light in your eyes dim,
your oblivious touch has become foreign and cold.
surely you cannot blame me for recoiling in unrecognition and hurt;
the words i say;
the words i dont.

i thought by numbing myself it would work, but im sick and tired of being so sick and tired, disappointed with my disappointment. hopeless with the absurd power you hold.

what fell through the cracks?

...

i feel like a great loser. nothing is turning out the way i hoped and imagined. i feel like a failure in every aspect of life. school, love, family, work, friends.. everything. i feel helplessly redundant, useless - a cumbersome and hideous outgrowth of society, my patheticness a slap in my face. i cant even bear to look in the mirror.

every day my faith burrows itself into the dirt a little bit more.

...

and there is no one to hold me anymore.

maybe i will just keep sinking.