they say william wordsworth made the private consciousness significant and public.. maybe it isnt such a good thing after all..

just read hy's blog.. makes me wonder.. she's looking/waiting for the perfect substrate, the One. what am i looking/waiting for? do i want to see everything in front of me as temporary? is it really stupid, naive, a crime, to indulge in my infatuations? do i want to say "we'll see", "you will..", "i will.." all the time? do i even want to hear it? must everything be NoW? can i not take my time? how come i block out my past and insist im a new person everytime a phase goes by and not take it in my stride? how come i draw a line separating the "past", "future" and "now" with blood.. why cant i see it as continous.. a gradual, not abrupt, shaping of a person? that there is a possiblity what i pick up now might stay in my satchel while i cross those lines? should i allow myself to entertain any of those? or im i just stupid to even consider that?