women/girls like me are addicted to dying their hair some different colour.. getting new clothes.. not just to look good but to signify a form a liberation.. or to mark the beginning of a brand new something.. or simply for change.. a breakaway from the grungy old, the familar. what better place to start then the stringy dry hair hanging limply from your head? or if u cant lose weight. buy flattering clothing! make that tummy disappear for those few seconds. it never really works for me eh. in a week or two.. i notice the roots.. the same familar u were trying to get away from crawling all over you again. u sleep in the same room every night.. your heart clings on the same things, you still brush your teeth the same way.. your eyesight hasn't improved.. your weight still stagnant.. as much as u try to distract yourself from it. "yay, i got a new hairdo, new clothes, a new stereo, a new house! im a new person!"

bullcrap.

ridiculous how people like me use superficial/materialistic things like that to motivate themselves and then cry when they realise they really wanted something more.. something deeper. bloody weaklings. utterly pathetic.

oh btw, i just dyed dawne's hair.. its burgandy.. didnt turn out as red as we hoped..looks good though.. with her skin.

am rereading "she's come undone".. another proof how physical imperfection and anger can ruin your life. for some reason i dreamed of the movie "city of god".. hmms.. its pretty good.. somehow it has an impact on me.. weird.

sigh, im bored again. 4 more days to finish my essay.. and i only have brief notes. lets see.. i expect.. a D+ this time. me.