awws i miss you *sighs*

oh.. just checked the york thingy.. i got a B for my writers' introduction to literary theory class. meh, so expected. i say i got like a 72-80 for my essay(psst, only coz i liked that essay.. hahah) and my exam dragged it down.. coz my average before was like.. 78? meh. but they dont have other marks up! dammantation. haha.. but well i think im getting Cs in selfculturesociety and biblepoop and hopefully As in the other two. lols thats horrific.. lets see if the tea i have been drinking recently enhanced my pathetic intelligence which will then allow me to boost my marks. gAH! i dont even know what to do in my bible course anymore! im utterly lost!! hahaa.. whats another word for pathetic? im running out of adjectives(????) to demolish my self esteem with.

yes... tomorrow i shall clean my room up and refresh my obnoxiously fleeting memory by rereading my economic thingy..

mmm its been a unproductive but nice day.. but i aquired new scratches and killed like 600 calories with cardio alone today alone... yay.. if i keep it up.. im gonna lose weight in a couple of weeks! even better if i increase my weight trainging.. but meh... feel so lazy.. besides i have.. 3 more months before summer. hahahaa.. for now.. i'll get used to feeling ugly and repulsively fat and obese every second of the day or whenever i see my reflection in some glass surface. let me curse god one more time for not letting me be born to be tall and long bodied and legged. thank u to the personally-selected-for-self-torment gorgeous models and my racism toward orientals in this area(i blame my background + my disgusting personality!!) for rubbing it in.. at least i go to the gym with false hopes and constant disappointment that one day i turn out even SLIGHTLY close to what u are. no, why would i look at other ppl who are more similar to me? psh tosh.

im using summer as a motivation so as not to fall into depression in the midst of this winter. sighs.. my ppoor face hurts so bad now :( and i almost lost my fingers and legs maybe.. sighs. and a motivation to work out.. so i can wear anything i want in summer! yayyyy... and im gonna buy plenty of skirts! and shoes! and sandles! and dresses! get a tan, fix my hair and skin and get skinny and be glowy and feel prutty! go on trips! eat icecream! yeaa.. and this summer im gonna swear i will read a minimum of 30 books. comon, its nothing.. i got 4 months to do that!! yeah u get the picture.. its like i know i prolly wouldnt really buy that much nor would i will i look any differnt.. but yea.. stupid things keep stupid people like me going.

cant decide if i should go back or not...........

i should really stop all that leisure reading eh(even though im quite a geek to be enjoying stuffy classics.. gawd i just started on another canadian novel.. and i still have qutioxue and homer and chekhov to finish) and get on with my SCHOOl program instead. sigh, dear god, although i have ranted about insignificant matters, lemme raise another one. dont let me turn out as a geek who is indeed a pretentious moron. amen.

haha my mom just walked in to comment about that bit of spine jutting out of my neck since i was a puny kid.. weird. hahaa.. thanks to the past few years of swimming and yoga.. i tihnk the alignment has improved a little.. but its prolly gonna stay the way it is now for the rest of my life..

and oh.. should i go for the interview or not.. hmms.. i'll probably go........ i wont get the job anyways.. dododoODOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo.. driving to fairview mall alll alone on weekends and miss out chilling at school and stuff with him??! *snores*

ooO i want an outdoor job in summer.. but.. erms.. ahem sir, where do u tihnk i can find one?

wheres hammy :(