oh gawd hy called at 7am on a friday morning to remind me she's gonna turn 19 soon!!... wHICH MEANS ITS GONNA BE MY TURN IN 7 MONTHS! *groans* and like every old person.. i couldnt get back to sleep ;) haa... jokes. awws, miss that gurl..

talked about stuff and boyyss.. always.. ahha... NOW I MISS SINGAPORE!! i should wear a tshirt around like that.. haha.. even this girl doesnt believe i havent been out clubbing everynight, chugging alcohol down or takng drugs and having a collection of numbers stacked up by my phone. *lols* okok im exaggerating.. but no one would have thought i spent alll my days sitting around on my fat ass at home or at school, covered from head to toe in full sleeve shirts and jeans, deriving entertainment, amusement, human contact, affection, etc. only from books and the close knit group of people around me.. instead of talking to anyone.. anywhere. haha, pearles not the same no mores :)

she doesnt go home at 7am in the morning while her parents are still sleeping.. wake up at 11 to go out again.. swimming and suntanning or meeting different groups of pals in a single day are no longer in her agenda.. nor does she have to justify strange behavior in guys to her own.. nor can she solve anymore math problems with ease or without a bloodied forehead. and well, most of all.. shes so stingy with money now and gets new clothing every month maybe.. and its not even much :) normally.. i would have 3 pairs of shox by now. *looks at filthy old one with the york fittness shoe tag* haha.

then again.. who would have thought i plan to devote the rest of my life to writing(privately or whatever).. wear a winter jacket everyday.. get to meet even stranger people, read THAT much.. think the way i do and actually get closer to a sister i used to yell and rant at only whenever im home. and finally letting myself fall for someone without any backup plan(s) ready any time i want.. be ok with the lack of the unbelievably busy life i used to have trying to make everyone happy, be happy myself with only 10 pairs of footwear and finally admitting being lighter skinned can be pretty too.. and that sleeping in that comforter of mine during cold weather is divine?

she said im constantly surrdounded by guys.. and i have the "tao hua yun"(did i say that riGHt??). with girls, there is always that sense of competition and tension there that i dont give a poop about.. i really dont ccare what u are wearing and how bad your hair is..or your ethnicity as long as you are nice. i mean, comon. that girl in the bible class is just one example that popped to my head right away. but most of the platonic guy friends(friends as in people i actually have a true tight bond with) i still have did go after me at one point or another.. or see me as just another obnoxious english-speaking sarcastic brat who would gladly stare u down. and sometimes after "failing", i lose a potential friend altogether.. they dont get im not gonna make a good girlfriend. go ask the ones who know. but whatever its still a good thing IF it still happens(im hideous and anti social now...)and the real friends stay behind. :) *waves to edward and ron*

sometimes i wonder if i whine too much about missing singapore.. i mean, its been almost 2 years.. and its my own fault i dont have a full fleged crazed social life or anything i used to crave. maybe i am.. but i want to justify it by saying i didnt leave that place as a little kid.. but when i was 7 months away from turning 16.. its just a pity(note: sarcasm) that i hang dear to the friends i had.. and hopefully still have. its my fault i remember how it feels to swim in the hot sun at 12pm.. the sounds of orchard road.. and the smell of the pool tables at marina and the dirty beaches.. and of course, the taste of the air at 6am in the morning when i drag my halfsleeping corpse out of bed to get to school by 7. perhaps im just too nostalgic.

whatever it is, as i sit here yawning at the comp.. contemplating the things i have to do today(drop dawne off at school.. go to gym[urgh so fat :(].. pick her up.. call hammy, go for my interview and then perhaps go to school to study if i have company)......... its all good :)